All of us have the need for significance or self-worth. We want to feel that we are important, that our lives are counting for something. In marriage we are called upon to encourage each other in our pursuits for significance. Ultimately our self-worth is rooted in who we are, children of God by faith in Christ. This makes us extremely important.

As children of God we are all uniquely gifted. As we express these gifts or abilities under the direction of the Holy Spirit we experience satisfaction. We can see something of how God is using us as His instrument for good. We are humbled, but we are also encouraged.

Positive comments about your spouse's efforts to explore their interests and giftedness is a way to help meet their need for significance. "You're a super mom." Is encouraging to a wife who has chosen to be a "work at home Mom." Critical comments on the other hand tend to diminish self-worth. Look for ways to encourage your spouse.