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Selfishness: The
Greatest Barrier to Intimacy.
Selfishness is the greatest barrier to
intimacy, and we are all infected with the disease. By nature we all
believe that our way is the best way. There is only one right way to load
a dishwasher that's my way. One wife said: "My husband's idea of
communication is "Sit down and let me tell you how things are going
to be." I'm always wrong. He is always right. How can you communicate
with a person like that?
There are two ways to respond to such a
spouse: First, loving confrontation. "Darling, I love very much and
I want to believe that you love me, but I don't feel very loved when
you speak to me like I'm a child and you are God. That you always know
what is best and my ideas don't count. Do you understand what I'm
saying?" This is the road of loving confrontation.
The second approach is modeling love:
"Darling, more than anything I want to be the spouse God wants me to
be. I want to meet your needs and I want to encourage you to reach your
potential for God. How may I help you most?" You are modeling the
unselfish, unconditional love of God. Nothing is more powerful than a
Godly model.
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