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Requests
are More Productive Than Demands.
If you want to influence your husband, Requests
are more productive than demands. None of us like
to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you
don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I
wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower.
It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make
me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If
you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a
great job."
Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you.
How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie
since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple
pies for eighteen years"? Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if
he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple
pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you
get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies. Chances are he'll
have an apple pie before the week is over. Requests are more productive
than demands.
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