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Behavior
Meets a Psychological Need.
Understanding the inner motivation behind your
spouse's unreasonable, illogical, hurtful, and often destructive behavior
may give you helpful insight as you seek to take a new approach to your
life and marriage.
Psychiatrist William Glasser says, "Everything
we do - good or bad, effective or ineffective, painful or pleasurable,
crazy or sane, sick or well, drunk or sober - is to satisfy powerful
forces within ourselves." This is Glasser's way of saying that even
our inappropriate behavior is serving some function. In some distorted
way, such behavior is meeting a psychological need.
The husband who is cursing his wife may be meeting
his need to be in control of his life. His method is sinful and
destructive, but understanding the inner motivation equips the wife to be
a positive change agent in the marriage. If she can help him meet this
need in a healthier manner, then she may well see his behavior change in a
positive direction.
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