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Boundaries of
Helping the Adult Child.
Don't try to solve the problems of your adult child.
Remember, your young adult child must live his own life, and that means
solving his own problems. If you step in, you short-circuit the process of
your child's emerging maturity. Your caring role is to give love,
acceptance, encouragement, and guidance when requested. Many parents find
this more difficult than stepping in to solve the problem.
Set boundaries for what you will and will not do to
help your adult child. Hold one another accountable for living by these
boundaries. Nurture your own relationship while you are trying to help
your troubled child. Without boundaries, parents often lose themselves
while trying to save their children.
Many an older couple has ended up divorcing each
other after having expended all their energies trying to help their adult
children and failing to nurture their own relationship. Time together
having fun is not sinful. It may be the best way to help your adult child.
If you don't keep your own marriage healthy, you compound the problems of
your adult child.
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