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The
"Fixing"
of Blame.
Sometimes the fixing of blame keeps us from
taking the first step toward reconciliation. We reason, "He failed
me. Why should I be the one to reach out? Let him come to me and ask
forgiveness." That line of reasoning is perfectly normal, but it is
not biblical. Jesus said, that if you know that someone has wronged you,
then you are to go to them and seek to be reconciled. Jesus also said that
if you wrong someone, then you should go confess and seek reconciliation.
Thus either way its your move.
With your own sin you must go
admitting wrong and asking forgiveness. For your spouse's sin, you must go
willing to forgive if he or she is willing to confess and repent. In all
of my counseling, I have never seen a couple in which both were not at
fault to some degree. One may have committed the overt act of adultery or
some other sin, but the other is not perfect. We must be willing to admit
our part in the failure of our marriage if we are to genuinely seek
reconciliation. Deal with your failure, and perhaps your
spouse will reciprocate.
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