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Togetherness
Means Focused Attention.
A central aspect of Quality Time is togetherness. I
do not mean proximity. Two people sitting in the same room are in close
proximity, but they are not necessarily together. Togetherness has to do
with focused attention.
A husband who is watching sports on television while
he talks to his wife is not giving her quality time, because she does not
have his full attention. Quality time does not mean that we have to spend
our together moments gazing into each others eyes. It does mean that
whatever our activity it is incidental. The important thing is that we are
spending focused time with each other.
A husband and wife playing tennis together, if it is
genuine quality time, will focus not on the game, but on the fact that
they are spending time together. What happens on the emotional level is
what matters. To some people, spending time together communicates loudly:
"He likes me. He enjoys being with me. He really loves me." For
this person, Quality Time is his/her primary love language.
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