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Inferiority as a Stem
Factor.
Many workaholics are suffering from a deep sense of
inferiority. The seeds were probably planted in childhood. The message
received from parents was "You are not as good as your brother. You
are not as smart as your sister. You will never make it."
As an adult these messages still play in his head.
His work is an effort to overcome these feelings of inferiority. If he
works hard enough and well enough he will prove himself. He feels that he
must perform on a higher level than those around him.
Many workaholics also feel unloved. The message
received from parents was not "I love you," but rather " I
love you if, you make up your bed, clean up your room, and make straight
A's."
Understanding this should help a spouse know how to
minister to the workaholic. He certainly does not need condemnation, but
rather praise. Such praise will draw him to the person who praises him
which gives you what you want - time with him. Try it, you may be
surprised how quickly the workaholic responds.
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