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Recognizing
the Abuser's Personal Value
Behind every verbally abusive tongue is a person of value.
I know that’s hard to believe when you are hurt by exploding words, but it is true.
Your spouse is an extremely valuable person, a person deeply loved by Christ. Of course,
their verbally abusive behavior saddens the heart of God as it does your own. But their
abusive behavior does not distract from their worth.
If you can focus on their worth rather than their abuse, perhaps you can be
God’s
instrument for bringing help. The wife who say: "I’ve been thinking about us.
I’ve been thinking about our dating days. I’ve been remembering the tender
touch, the kind words, the smiling face, the fun we had I in those days. I guess
that’s why I believe in you so strongly. I know the good qualities that are there.
Sometimes I lose that vision when I am hurt by your verbal attacks, but I know the kind of
man you are and I believe in that man."
She is giving him what all of us need: someone who believes in us. This has powerful
potential for motivating positive changes in his behavior.
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