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Dr. Gary Chapman

The Secret to Keeping Love Alive After the Wedding

With all the books, magazines, and practical help available, why is it that so few couples seem to have found the secret to keeping love alive after the wedding? How is it that we can read a magazine article on "101 Ways to Express Love to Your Spouse" ; we get all excited, select two or three that seem especially good to us, try them, and our spouse doesn’t even acknowledge our efforts?

I believe the problem is: we have overlooked one fundamental truth - people speak different love

languages. One husband said: "I tell her how beautiful she is. I tell her I love her. I tell her what a good mother she is. None of that seems to matter. She says she doesn’t feel my love. I don’t know what else to do."

His wife’s response: "If he loved me, he would help me around the house. All he does is watch TV. The problem? He is using words. She is crying for actions. If he wants her to feel loved, he must learn to speak her language. It’s as simply as that.

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