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The Understanding of
a Controlling Spouse
Spouses who are overly controlling often do not understand
that their behavior is inappropriate.
There are two reasons for this:
1. They are following
the pattern they observed in their family of origin. Thus, to them, their behavior is normal.
“This is the way my father did it.”
“This is the way my mother did it.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
They’re sincere. They don’t understand that their behavior is hurtful.
Secondly, they have a dominating personality.
This is their nature. They
are decisive, action oriented people.
They make things happen. They
gain their self-worth from performance.
It brings them praise in the market place.
So, why is their spouse complaining.
Obviously the problem must be with the spouse.
“They should appreciate what I’m doing.”
“I’d hate to see what it would be like if they did it.”
They are following the script written in their personality
and don’t understand why anyone would have a problem with it.
Tomorrow we’ll talk about how to get the attention of the
controller.
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