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How to Deal With a
Controlling Spouse
The self-worth of most controllers is tied to their
performance. The more often
they reach their goals, the better they feel about themselves. For the controller, failure to reach the goal makes them a
failure. So, it doesn’t
help to argue with a controller. IN
fact, argument is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
The controller is already strongly motivated to reach his/her goal.
Your arguments stimulates him to fight.
The best way to get the attention of a controller is to agree with
his arguments, but don’t let him control you.
Agree? Yes.
“You know, I think you are right.
In one way we are saving money by using the water-saver shower
heads. But I can’t afford
to take thirty minutes to wash the shampoo out of my hair.”
If he doesn’t change the shower heads in a week.
Call a plumber and have them changed.
He’ll mumble, but he will go on to some other money saving
project.
You agreed with him, thus left his self-respect in tact, but
you didn’t let him control you. Both
of you were winners.
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