If you are married to a controller, don’t assume that he/she knows how you feel.  Perhaps you are saying “Oh, I’ve told them many times.  We have argued again and again.”  I’m not talking about arguing.  I’m talking about sharing your pain.  Letting him know how much you are hurting.

“You might say something like this, “I want to share with you something I have been feeling for a long time. I’m not condemning you, I just want to share with you how I feel.  I feel like I am a child in this marriage.  Like you control everything and I’m a nobody.  I feel like my ideas don’t count.  I feel like you don’t need me and don’t want me.  It really hurts, and it causes me to withdraw from yo sometimes.  I find it hard to be intimate with you when I feel like I’m treated as a child rather than a spouse.   Something needs to change,  because I don’t like the way I’m feeling.”

You have not condemned your spouse, but you have shared the truth about your own pain.  If you can’t say these things then write them.  Your spouse needs to know that you are hurting.